Body Blog
Exploring mindfulness and healing through the body for both horses and humans.
The Healing Equation
March 21, 2022
I’d like to dedicate this post to the Equinox. Why not. I always forget to celebrate that important earthly transition, so I will thank my lucky stars and the universe that creates the seasons and shifting axis for this most magical experience today.
I feed and care for two small herds of mares living in large open paddocks divided by a driveway. There are characters in each herd, and there isn’t always peace. But today I experienced a very new and exciting sense of peace that was not mine, not theirs, but ours.
I’ve been studying biodynamic craniosacral therapy (BCST for short) lately, and the first seminar I attended was focused on dynamic stillness (think of the always shifting present moment), the “midline” (think of connecting with your own center, especially your spine), and accessing our own “health resources” (think of being resourced or having agency in your own healing process). I really appreciate the vibration that comes off my body when I focus on these three things around horses. Really, BCST is about acknowledging the self-healing capacities we all have, and accelerating that through touch and trust. Although I’m studying BCST to work on humans, I naturally practice around horses. When I focus on both my midline/resources and the horse’s midline/health resources, creating a relational field between and around us, they respond in a new way. It’s as if they can access my energy more directly, as if we’re on the same plane, as if we can talk with each other. It’s funny.
So today, after taking out several mares—one by one—for grazing and shedding/brushing, I returned to the paddock to connect with Ginger, my favorite red mare who is always affectionate and willing to engage, and her friend, who loves to “mouth” things (I let her mouth the halter I was holding). The other two whom I’d groomed/grazed, usually don’t hang with us, but Lilly never left, and Midori approached us, lowered her head, and dropped a hind leg, as if to say, I want to be in on this healing party.
I was telling Ginger, while rubbing between her mandibles and feeling the healing energy between and around us, remembering our own self-healing abilities, that she needs to take care of herself and her friends. This “lowered head, dropped hip” party was a common way horses can help each other stay healthy. It’s one reason horses need to be in a herd—to do this for each other. I was pleased Midori was close, and told her how beautiful she is (she really is).
After about half an hour of rubbing Ginger’s face and hanging out, I said my goodbyes to this group. I noticed in the other paddock, the lead boss mare was watching us, and seeking information as she stood at the gate. This gray mare, London, came off the range a while back, and is quite food aggressive. She’s just a bit off, in my mind, not a horse I tend to trust. I get mad at how mean she is to the others in her group, forcing all of them off the feed bin. But I saw her in a different light tonight.
I dropped the halter and approached her (she usually walks off when I approach her) to offer this beautiful healing energy from the other herd that was still resonating in and around my hands. She was very curious, and checked in with my hands every 10 seconds or so. After a few minutes of this, she lowered her head and dropped her left hip. I stayed, she stayed, It was a beautiful 20 minutes or so of resting one hip, then the other, breathing, and connecting. I was curious about her curiosity, and her staying with me. I stayed aware of my breathing and sensations, and encouraged her to stay aware of her breathing and sensations. I had a heavy feeling in my belly, and a heavy feeling in my chest, and wondered if these were her sensations or my own. I could feel when she was able to stay calm in this way, and when she got anxious and seemed like she didn’t know how to feel inside her body. She chased off a mare who was 15 feet away and relaxing, but unlike earlier in the afternoon, when she walked straight away from me with her tail swishing, she circled back and returned to the gate to sniff my hands again. Sure, she probably wanted treats, but I think she also wanted rest, peace, and connection. She doesn’t seem to get this from her horse mates. When she first arrived at the barn, she was terrorized by a new herd of mares who also came off the range. None of those mares were around anymore, but now she was overly bossy and disconnected, socially.
It was time for me to get home, so I said my goodbyes, and called to two of the mares she will tolerate at the feed bin, who were about 60 feet away eating their hay cubes, asking “who would be her friend?” One of them approached. I realized that despite my aggravation with this mare, she needs to heal. London moved off the approaching volunteer with laid back ears (not quite pinned), and as she did this, I asked her to keep an open heart. I wondered if she could feel anything in her body other than aggression or anxiety. Her behavior seemed rooted in a disconnection. I told Maci, it’s your job Maci to find a time to talk with London when there’s no food around, and help her connect. I am curious if there will be a shift in the herd.
The whole herd needs to have each individual heal themselves and heal the group. Self-healing is something we all have access to, and we are all a part of the healing equation, as individuals and in community.